“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.”-Oprah Winfrey

The Facebook interview with Oprah Winfrey could not have come to me at a better time. Today (Sept 9th) markers the 25th anniversary of Oprah becoming the first African-American woman to host a nationally-syndicated talk show. It also comes after my week-long visit to Chicago, my birthplace.  Most importantly, this interview came at one of those times that all people have, creative people especially, where I started to wonder if I was on the right path spiritually, professionally, geographically, etc.

When Oprah said this, it became clear to me: This path is uncharted, and will always be uncertain, because I am the only one who has ever walked it.

As an inspiration junkie, I love scouring the internet for stories, videos, songs, any piece of media that inspires me. However, maybe what I’m really searching for is proof. Proof that someone like me can do this. Become a filmmaker with no formal training. Translate counseling and psychology and an obsession with media into a career that helps other artists. Another black woman from Chicago who made a drastic career change in their late-20s and lived to tell the tale.

I will not find that story. I have to make it.

The story that I am looking for is my story, and it is never-ending. I don’t know if each item on my to-do list will bring me closer to the life I want, but I can try, and I can learn along the way.

I feel better now. While I continue to go down my to-do list and balance planning with action, I will accept that I am creating this path as I go, and the best inspiration I can receive is from those who have done the same.

Happy Friday

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Hurricane Irene passed through the East Coast, causing billions of dollars worth of damage and at least 20 deaths. And yet, some people are not impressed.

Many people, primarily in metropolitan areas, question whether the level one hurricane/tropical storm was worth the precautions taken, or if the media over-hyped it.

To which I say: Get a grip.

Part of the ceiling in my apartment came down. My car flooded. Down the street, the wind uprooted a huge tree, slamming it in on to a parked car, destroying it.

But what can you do? After calling Liberty Mutual any way, what can you actually do in situations like this? Accept them.

Natural disasters don’t need your approval or validation. They are reminders in our type-A society that there remain things that we can’t control, and in a way, this applies to most things we think we have control over. Your favorite music festival was cancelled, or your flight to the Caymens was grounded, or you had to wait in line while you and other human beings prepared for days without lights, cooking heat or access to take-out Chinese food.Yes, Irene totally cramped your style. Consider that maybe, Irene, and even last week’s earthquake were reminders that life isn’t about to-do list and “plans,” though it makes us feel good to have them. Ultimately, our lives are uncertain. Accept this fact, and you can still enjoy it in a meaningful way.

Note: If you like this post and want to support, please go to my about.me page (http://about.me/chakkareeves) and vote for my page to appear in a Times Square billboard! Thank you.

I grew up in a time before gossip blogs blurred the line between the sensational and informational. Because of the history of the written word, people are conditioned to see something in print as having more credibility than, say a talk show or radio show. News shows and publications need experts, statistics, sources, while a blog need only say that they got their information from a “credible source” before the information is spread far and wide.

Especially if the news is about perennial click-draw and rapper girlfriend Amber Rose.

When her graphic photos were leaked on the Internet last week, spellcheck-phobic gossip site Mediatakeout.com attached a story from a so-called credible insider about how Amber had sent the pictures to rumored boyfriend of Nicki Minaj, Safaree Samuels, on the night of her birthday party. How awful! The skank! Once a ho, always a ho and so forth.

While the pictures of Rose were authentic, the story turned out to be pure fabrication. Nicki Minaj even send out a tweet in defense of her friend.

If this were a newspaper, a retraction would have been printed, but Media Take Out is not journalism. We’re talking about a site that is known for pushing the boundaries of good taste, grammar, relevance, and above all, truth.

I know all of this, and I have a context for it. I also know that tabloids news is much older than the Internet. What troubles me is the generation of web-surfing teens and pre-teens that are growing up after me, ones that don’t know the difference between news and gossip, the difference between sources and hear-say. The fact that Huffington Post links to the site further blurs the line.

Regardless of how you feel about celebutantes like Rose, no one deserves to be lied about. The truth is all we have, and that’s what real journalism is about. We also need to be critical of a media culture that thrives on judging those who are deemed less worthy of legitimate celebrity. The people that comment on gossip sites, asking why someone is news-worthy are asking an important, albeit, miss-worded question. The question should be: Why is this person the chosen target for our collective judgement and ridicule this week? Readers: What do you think?

If you want to know more about my thoughts on blogs and media/celebrity culture, check out one of my older posts: The Attention Economy.

This week, black women once again were singled out by anti-abortion activists, when a poster placed in the Soho neighborhood of New York claimed that “The most dangerous place for an African American is in the womb.”

The abortion debate is a tricky thing. I, for one, have avoided the debate entirely, because I see abortion as a crisis-created solution, the crisis being a society where women are not afforded the same control over their bodies as men are.

Women who chose to end pregnancies are often depicted as  irresponsible, poor single mothers, a depiction that ignores the facts:

*Abortions are expensive, and therefore, are not a get-out-of-motherhood free card for most poor women.

*Married women get abortions too.

This stereotype also avoids an uncomfortable thought: Is it even more irresponsible to have a child that you do not have the means to take care of?

People who follow me on Facebook and Twitter may have seen me gush about the book, “Sex and Dawn.” The book dismantles many culturally-misguided assumptions about human evolution and sexuality, but it also critiques previous anthropological studies on topics such as how big our ancestors were and their mortality rates.

One part of the book that I found sobering was the role of infanticide in human history. From many pre-historic forager societies to “foundling hospitals” in 18th century France, it was socially acceptable to kill an infant if the child was perceived as a strain on community resources. After the child is born. In some cultures, children are not thought to be “real” human beings until they are over a year old.

Why do I bring this up? The most preposterous thing about the newest attack on the reproductive rights of black women is the absurdity of it. If Life Always (the organization behind the poster) is so concerned about the safety of African American children, why don’t they fight for safer and effective public schools, affordable housing or job creation, the very resources that are needed to raise a healthy and happy child? Instead, they are framing the symptom as the problem.

If your wondering, I am still avoiding the abortion debate. I am pro-choice, but in the real sense of the word. I’m for women having the right to have lives that do not force them to choose between expanding their families and preserving themselves. I’d like to see a group with the funding to take out a billboard in Soho dedicate themselves to a cause that would really save black children, instead of shaming black women into less-than ideal situations.

EDIT TO ADD: This powerful video of Rep. Gwen Moore (D-Wisconsin) breaking down the importance of Planned Parenthood. Thanks to Alicia Sanchez for the link!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl1BhDXRoJo

“(Racism) is not about one-on-one. Anyone can like an individual.”-Joan Rivers.

Whoopi was wise to end at “People say dumb stuff sometimes.” She was about to give Joan Rivers some Paul Mooney-level street cred.

My psych nerd and inner secretive Scorpio are loving the validation presented in the TED Talks clip. Many books and articles on motivation say that you should make your goals public in order to hold yourself accountable. However, as Derek Sivers explains in this clip, telling someone about your goals may make you LESS likely to achieve them.

Watch and leave a comment.

Thanks to Lifehacker for the clip!

I am a black woman. I’m free. I don’t have to be a symbol to anybody…~Lena Horne.

On an usually restless night, I checked my Twitter feed and learned that Lena Horne passed away yesterday. She was 92 years old and has a legacy that made it acceptable to be black and beautiful in Hollywood, not to mention her very active role in the fight for racial equality. Even with all this, I was stunned by the news. In less than five years time, so many souls that exemplified the beauty, talent and grace of Black people have moved on to the spirit world: Ozzie Davis, James Brown, Eartha Kitt, just to name a few. Although all of these people were around an age where it is socially acceptable to die, these deaths are a reminder that we can’t continue to rest on the shoulders of those who have pushed us up. I think I always took for granted that there would be a Lena Horne that I can show to our children, to teach them about the time we were Negroes, and however unfair it was, we understood that the best or worse of us, as a people, would reflect on all of us.

Let’s be motivated by our legends, but as Ms. Horne put it so perfectly, let us be representatives for ourselves. Ms. Horne fought so that black people could be valued as individuals, and not as credits or deficits of our “race.” Be a credit to yourself today.

Below are some of my favorite videos featuring Lena Horne:

Ms. Horne teaches Grover how to overcome shyness

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_Y0lJ8ELvI

Ms. Horne serenades Cliff and Claire Huxtable on The Cosby Show

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxp47BPI9FY

Michael Jackson passed today. Upon reflecting on why his passing is so painful, I realized a few things:

We saw him grow up. Michael was young, gifted and Black. Instantly likable and boyish, with an ability to conjure a grown soulfulness in his singing that made you certain that he had been on this earth before (see “Never Can Say Goodbye” and “Got to Be There” for two of my favorite examples). We saw him grow into an awkward teen, struggling with his self-image and trying to define his identity outside of his family. Then, he was his own man: Visible striking, trend setting, exciting and wildly successful. His tumble into middle age became a downright mid-life crisis. He never duplicated the success of his youth, and failed relationships and disturbing behavior made even his biggest fans question him. He left us an elderly man, but not elderly enough. His health was poor, and his spirit was broken.

It represents our deepest fears about success. He was great, and then he was the best. Then he reached a level of fame that was unparalleled. He hit a career plateau (Thriller) and never reached that level of success again. What happens on the other side of the zenith? When you become the best that you can be, what comes next? The fear of what is on the other side is enough to keep most people from striving in the first place.

We know he wasn’t at peace when he passed. Reporters speculate that he was feverishly preparing himself for his comeback tour. Michael wanted our love and approval so badly that he may have killed himself trying to get it.

He represents the last of an era of true entertainers. Michael was a singer, dancer, style icon and one of the most exciting entertainers who ever lived. He was a skilled musician and vocalist who was able to not only go with the fickle tide of pop music, he guided it. Michael came from an era where you had to be the best to get a shot. Many (forget that, MOST) people who dominate the current pop music scene wouldn’t have lasted 5 seconds at the Apollo during the heyday of the Jackson 5.

His legacy won’t just be about the music. I choose not to delve into the darker side of Michael’s final years, but that puts me in the minority. The media loves a freak show, and they promoted his eccentricities more than his talent.

Thank you for your music, Michael, and for loving us enough to be your very best.

Take care, withhold judgment, love others and love yourself.

Never Can Say Goodbye (LIVE)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=snihdG1rE0Y

I Want You Back (LIVE)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfJu_Bom2sA

I Wanna Be Where You Are (LIVE)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaLu6lHHSXg

Peace.