I have a hard time understanding why a public figure who is known for wanted people to live their “Best Life” and who has been public with her struggles with weight would sponsor a free chicken give-away.

Sean  from Undergroundwellness.com breaks it all the way down so I don’t have to, but keep this in mind folks:  Getting the first one for free is a tactic that crack dealers use too.

Stay healthly, read labels and use your head.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPlxcj8o9dg

One rainy afternoon in Philly, after departing from a lunch meeting  with a colleague, a woman approached me as I turned towards Lancaster Walk. The woman was worn, disheveled, obviously in need. I braced myself for her request:

“S’cuse me, Ma’am. I’m 4 months pregnant and I’m hungry. Can I get some money for a sandwich?”

I looked back at the 7-11 on the corner, and proceeded to make her an offer:

“Well, there’s a 7-11 on the corner. I’d be happy to walk over there with you and get you a sandwich.”

The woman hesitated:

“Well, I wanted to go to 30th street station so I can get out of the rain.” she said.

“You can get the sandwich to go, and still eat at the station.” I proposed.

“Well, see, I wanted to go to the Au Bon Pain in the station. I like their sandwiches.”

I stood back, unable to hide my amusement. I raised a brow at the woman and said:

“Good luck with that.” I turned and continued down Lancaster Walk.

Long before the battle of West Philly Crackheads vs. my ’98 Corolla began, long before the days of getting cuss out by Chicago vagrants (I once offered a homeless dude a dollar after he asked for 87 cents. He told me to fornicate with myself), I shrugged off sidewalk pseudo-philanthropy as a mere trap of middle-class privilege-driven  guilt, and reasoned that I was doing homeless people more harm than good if I gave them money. Still, I would give homeless people money at times.

That was before I went to Ghana, West Africa in June 2008.

I’ll start by saying that Ghana is the most spiritually rich place I’ve ever been. The people there have an openness and commitment to hospitality that is genuine and startling. God is everywhere and everything, and even people in the most desperate of situations know that He has a plan for their lives, and they are grateful. Ghana is also like many developing countries, in that social services are not on par with need. I saw no homeless shelters, soup kitchens or other services for street citizens there. What I did see was real hunger, and real determination. People there asked me for money, but it was often in exchange for something, such as a handmade bracelet.

I got hustled of course, but at least the hustles were creative. While staying in Tamale, a group of young boys from a neighboring village asked me for money for a soccer ball, since their team didn’t have one to practice with. I gave them a Ghanaian dollar. The next day, when my group visited their village, every other young man had the same story: Soccer team needs money for a ball. Why a village with less than 500 people had so many soccer teams is beyond my understanding.  It made me think back to the boys who stood at the intersection of 87th and the Dan Ryan Expressway back home, raising money for their baseball uniforms. I didn’t fault them for their underhandedness because they were truly trying to survive.

Of course there are people who are homeless in America that are not drug addicts, and are in real need, I know that. I also know that the social services we offer to homeless people in the U.S. have their downsides . But here are some unspoken facts about homeless in America:

• Panhandlers make serious tax-free cash: Paul Michael from Wisebread.com wrote a fabulous article about the upsides to living on the street. Some panhandlers make hundreds of dollars a day, tax free. This isn’t hard to believe when you think about how many people pass the average panhandler in a given day, and how many people give them at least a dollar or some change.
• Giving money to panhandlers doesn’t address the root of the problem:
  • Best case scenario: Pregnant homeless woman asks me for a dollar. I give her a dollar. She asks the next person for a dollar, and they give her one as well. Pretty soon, she has enough for a meal. She gets a meal. She eats it. Then she’s back to square one.
  • Worst case scenario: Pregnant homeless woman asks me for a dollar. I give her a dollar. She gets enough people to give her a dollar until she has enough for a dime bag. She buys a dime bag, and a sandwich, if she has enough money left.

The problem with both of these situations is that the woman is not getting help that will get her off the streets for good. She’s not getting help with her addiction, health, job training or housing assistance. There are agencies and charities that provide services like this, and my money would go farther if given to them.

• Giving money to panhandlers absolves us of our role in the problem: Our society is based on a system of power and privilege. Because of this, as hard as it is to face, the fact that someone doesn’t have a place to live or means to support themselves  is directly related to the fact that I do. We’re all interconnected. This also means that I am responsible for thinking of way to become a part of the solution, not the problem.

So, what are some potential solutions?

• Volunteer time and money at a local charity/agency that helps the homeless. Not just money, but time  is important. Many homeless people are looking for services and people that allow them to receive help while maintaining their dignity, such as the Living Room Cafe in Chicago, IL.
• If a homeless person asks you for help, engage them. Don’t just hand over your money. Ask them questions. Ask them what they need to help themselves. A woman once asked me for money to get on the train, so I gave her my weekly pass. She was so moved that she hugged me, because she got what she was actually looking for.

So don’t give into guilt when a panhandler asks you for money. Think of your role in the larger problem of poverty and homelessness. Find comfort in the fact that you have committed to acting in a way that will help that person, and people like them, in the long run.

In honor of the absolutely superb spoof that South Park did on both Kanye West and Carlos Mencia, here is a top five list of some of my favorite South Park celebrity comeuppances:

5) Douche and Turd: P. Diddy

4) The Passion of the Jew: Mel Gibson

3) Britney’s New Look: Britney Spears, American’s celebrity obsessed culture

2) The Jeffersons: Michael Jackson

1) Trapped in the Closet: Tom Cruise, John Travolta and R. Kelly

Honorable Mention
Fishsticks: Kanye West, Kanye’s Crew and Carlos Mencia

Perfection! It’s nice to have such a regular source of inspiration. Thanks Madam First Lady.

Before arriving in Ghana, our trip planner informed us of how purchasing works in Ghana. We were told to bring American-style paraphernalia to trade, and to get use to the idea of bargaining. When we arrived, we were also advised by our Ghanaian tour guide that once they realized we were Americans, we would get the initial offer price jacked up on us (Yet another reason why I should have taken up Twi). I thought this was straight forward, but I had not anticipated one thing: The fact that I am terrible at asking for what I want.

At one craft village, I fared pretty well, mainly because I didn’t have much money to begin with. I got several necklaces for less than $8, and I got a necklace for myself that I adore for $13.

Part of the reason that this negotiation worked out so well is because I only had 25 Ghana Cedies (dollars) in my pockets, and I refused to go higher than that.

The store owner was a young, attractive man. He saw me eying the necklace, and said that he wanted me to go home with it. I named a price: $5. He looked like I had called his mom a trollop. “No,” he said. “I carved the beads myself.” I could tell that a lot of work had gone into the necklace. The beads are a beautiful peach-rose color, with amber-ish streaks.

“$30″, he said.

“Look, chief,” I said. “All I have is $20, so maybe I should leave.

“Wait,” he said. “$25.”

“$10″

“$20″

“$11″

“$18″

“$12″

“$15″

“$13, and that’s the highest I’m willing to go.” He agreed, we shook hands, and he asked me if I would stay in touch with him. I told him I would.

My trip to the next craft village, however, was not as fruitful. I attribute this to two things: 1) This time around, I had been to the ATM, and 2) I fell for the okey-doke, plain and simple.

I got a drum for $20. Not bad, until I found out someone else on the trip got a very similar one for $12.

Wall wooden sculptures: 4 for $25. Nice, until I found out another trip mate got two of comparable size for $10.

The last straw? A leather case, which wasn’t even very attractive, for $20. The folks on the tour bus got really silent when I told them what I paid for it.

What had changed, between the first craft market, where I bought my beloved necklace, and this one? The simple answer: Before, I was prepared to walk away if I did not get the price I wanted.

A lot of negotiation is ignoring what you think you can get, and just asking for what you want. Another aspect of negotiation is preparing to walk away if you are not okay with the terms, and having unwavering faith that there is something better for you out there.
Fast forward to today: I am still job searching. I was offered a position, but I knew it wasn’t for me.  But I decided that, unless I want to be on the bus of life, plugging my ears while other people talk about the good deals that they got, I need to be patient and willing to ask for exactly what I want, and not just what I think I should ask for.

It has been over two weeks since I returned from the ACPA cultural study tour to Ghana. I was there for two weeks, and I visited five higher education institutions, three major cities and many smaller communities. Whenever someone asks me about how the trip was, I find myself at a loss. Can I really encapsulate the beauty of the trip in one passing conversation? Or course not. Also, a part of me feels that is it improper to trim down the essence of the trip to the places I went to, the things I bought, the food I ate, or even, the people I saw and interacted with (although these people did make the trip for me).

Because of this, I will use a series of blog entries to describe the life lessons I learned from my trip to Ghana. Some of the lessons I learned were truly things that I had never thought of before, but many of the things I learned were reinforcements of lessons that I have been learning over the pass few years, or maybe in a way, my whole life.
I hope that this series can begin to give you a glimpse of the beauty of Ghana, its people and why some of the world’s most profound thinking found themselves, abroad.